Observations of a night out listening to trance or whatever it has become

Been drinking. The familiar smell of Red Bull, vodka, and yes, kahlua in there somewhere. I’m a little drunk and lamenting my lost youth. No I’m not. Music is wonderful and amazing. Been making me cry since nineteen seventy whenever – in minor key. I recall seeing Above and Beyond – 2005 – Los Angeles. Drunk too. What a night. That simple base line, and the smell of kahlua. And meeting random people. And for the first time being ok with that. Common ground. The power of chemicals.

But I’m old. I honestly don’t belong here. But I still come. Because this is my temple. This is where I cry. This is where I am free. All the pain goes. I need explain to no one. My wife, my friends, the universe. They all understand. And I love them for this. They let me be.

But I have to let go of this. I can’t be here for much longer. But I don’t want to let go. I found freedom here. I found unconditional love here. How can I let go? I can I let you understand? But bye bye. It was good, in that totally understated Australian way of things being ‘go d’. Thank you. All I wanted was freedom and freedom to feel gratitude. And I have it. From time to time. It will do.

Wow – life is a ride.

Peace, love and mugi tea.

Old fart – young at heart – for ever.


I had a another nice walk in the Middlesex Fells this weekend – just a quick one really with the dog this time. We happened to stumble upon this nice cluster of mushrooms, however. If anyone knows what species they are, I’d love to know! I have never seen such a cool cluster of mushrooms.

Oh, and this variety too was near by. Again, a huge patch, but I think slightly different species.

Update 2018/01/29:

Both of these patches of mushrooms were almost certainly honey mushrooms (Armillaria mellea)


Hiatus is over…

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My last blog post was way back in February 2014. Thinking back now its obvious to me why I stopped blogging here then. My life took a serious detour. Truth be known I have been blogging elsewhere – a far more personal (and anonymous) blog. The problem with anonymity is the posts are disconnected from a person. I don’t own them the way I would like. And while I have my reasons for having a anonymous period, that writing can’t be fully integrated into who I am. Here (this blog) I am who I am. Science weirdo. Sometimes obsessive. Mostly completely ignoring this place.

So this is why I’m back here. Well other reasons too. Reason the first) I think I have something to say and I think I should communicate that. Reason the second) I still have lots of technical things I like to explore and discuss. But from time to time I will incorporate less technical topics and perhaps more personal topics into this blog. Well, we’ll see how that goes.

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Life goes on. You still get to score a goal from time to time. And you never ever stop learning more about yourself.